What’s your Christian OS
March 9, 2008
I have been sitting around wondering what my Sunday post would be, and then it was all of a sudden an hour before Monday. I have been perplexed by my friends in the GBLT community who still claim to be fundamentalist Christians. It had also been a while since I did a comparative tech piece so for all the Geeks and Gays in my buddy list, this one is for you!
What’s your Christian OS?
The best question one can ask during this political season is not are you a Christian, but “what kind of Christian are you?” Too often American’s settle for someone claiming to be Christian and calling it good enough. Oh sure they make a few distinctions between Catholics and protestants. For the most part though Americans can’t really define what is and isn’t protestant, except to say, not Catholic.
If Catholicism was Christianity 1.0, and the reformation brought about Christianity 2.0, the question is where are we now? I would say we have moved into at the very least 4.0 sp2. What happened to version 3.0? Those are all the American splinter sects of the original Protestant stock that came to this continent. Those groups include the Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and 7th Day Adventists among the popular choices. I liken them to open source programming since they are so easily modified to suit your needs.
So how did we get to 4.0 sp2? The answer is easy, social progress and the need to believe. When did version 4.0 come about? The Beta versions of 4.0 starting appearing as science started to disprove many biblical stories during the mid 19th century. As scientific advancement and social progress have continued to move forward, so has the nature of Christianity delivering into at least sp2 of Christianity 4.0.
Well what does this new and improved operating system provide us? Many of the new believers are willing to accept that the facts of the bible might not be accurate, and that it is the meaning of the story rather than the facts that are important. Sp2 Christians are also likely to disregard whole passages and entire books, especially from the Old Testament. For Example many in the GBLT community who take issue with the old school stance against their life style, are quite happy to disregard Deuteronomy and Leviticus.
What’s next in the development of the Christian OS? I believe we are already seeing the development of 5.0. I believe the key feature of the new belief will allow believers to choose the combo feature pulling in both aspects of divine predestination and freewill. Under the new system this will no longer cause a fatal error for hypocrisy. On the flip side of allowing more contradiction, they will be completely eliminating the Old Testament as a legacy application.
Please know your Christian OS version and have all relevant registration information before calling the Divine at:
1(866)ROF-LMAO.
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Since others in some communities have gone into irate tirades about the numbering system, let me explain. No I’ll sum up there is too much to explain in a short comment.
The numbering system should not be seen in comparative terms as one denomination being better than another. The numbering system exists as a fastlabeling function and to show linear progression and of both the root and derivative groups. Christianity 1.0 was not superseded 2.0 nor is 4.0 sp2 better than 2.0.
Also for the record newer is not necessarily better. For any of you who lived through 1980’s pop culture you can use New Coke and Pepsi Clear as prime examples of this.