Today’s Yahoo News Round Up!
March 5, 2008
On the Election front, McCain clinched the republican nomination, which is no surprise. Hillary and Barack are still slugging it out which is worrisome to me. Too many democrats seem to be holding grudges and if the queer the deal in for us in the fall I don’t care if the are man or woman; black or white; gay or straight; young or old; if they can’t unify and screw the rest of us we need a great big old fashioned lynch mob to take care of the problem. Come on folks there is enough back biting in the party right now to get Marv Albert all hot and bothered. Get with the fucking program and remember what we are really fighting for, a win in November.
Keith Richards is now a Louis Vuitton spokesman. I would never have pictured Keith the type to sell out to fashion. Mick has always been the type to prance around in designer clothe, but Keith has always been the last knight rocker perfectly at home in faded jeans and t-shirts. I believe the world may be coming to an end, and after seeing what happened with the guys on Idol last I am sure the end of times is a lot closer than anyone expects. Come one an emo version of Lionel’s hello, the only things which could have been worse was an Elmo version.
According to Israeli researchers Moses was stoned when he received the commandments. If this is true the Ark of the Covenant was built to house what Moses brought down from on mount high, no wonder everyone has been searching for it. Of course the notion that several people saw sounds and felt colors in the bible has, not to mention several visions the prophets had all sounded like people on bad trips.
Last but not least scientists have determined in their infinite wisdom we should remove one more vestige of childhood, eating snow is now dangerous. Has it ever occurred to people that the kids of earlier generations group up without so many healthy problems, was no one tried to protect them from every little germ that might be out there? With every new product becoming from ass wipe toilet paper to tooth brushes as the next great super antibacterial antiviral health agent, we seem to be less resistant to everything that is airborne or passed through personal contact. Just wait one of these days you will see kids dying by the classroom of the common cold, because their bodies no long have any natural resistance. I know that might sound far fetched, but it isn’t as far reaching as you might think.
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